Absence Excuse to My Son's Teacher

August 26, 2013

Absence Excuse to My Son's Third Grade TeacherDear Mrs. Smith, I’m sorry David missed school all last week, but I have a really good excuse for him not being there. David was kidnapped by aliens! Okay, I know that last sentence is a real shocker, especially if you don’t believe in aliens and all that Star Trekkie stuff they say about outer space, but it’s true. Do you realize what this means for all of us living here on Earth? We are not alone in the universe! David said the aliens came here from Mars. I guess that makes them Martians. What surprised me is David said they weren’t green, and they weren’t little. I guess that blows the whole little green man theory out the window. If you don’t believe David was kidnapped by aliens, take a good look at him. He still has a couple of spots on him. Okay, I have to admit, those bumps do look a lot like old chicken pox, but it turns out they’re a space rash! Let me explain how I came to that conclusion. After David got home from his visit with the aliens, he came down with a really high fever. The next day the bumps appeared and then they spread all over his body. David’s bumps were making him pretty sick so I took him to see the pediatrician. Dr. Steinmetz said David had probably been exposed to an alien bug while he was inside the spaceship. He said to let the rash run its course and he sent us home with a cream and some antihistamines for David’s rash. He also told David not to accept anymore rides from aliens because you can never tell by looking at it, where a spaceship’s been. Okay, part of that last paragraph wasn’t really true. The pediatrician prescribed a lotion, not a cream. David has it with him in his backpack. Would you please make sure he applies some of it to his space rash after lunch? Oh, and don’t worry about David being contagious. Dr. Steinmetz said since David’s rash has finally stopped spreading, it’s probably safe for him to return to school. Do you think there’s anyone else in our solar system we don’t know about? Warmest Regards,David’s mom P.S. If a spaceship lands on the playground, would you mind asking those guys what happened to David’s shoes? Thank you!! (Names have been changed to protect the innocent) Posted by Deborah McTiernanAuthor of Lilly Noble & Actual MagicParanormal books for teenagers

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